A Family Crossroads: When Faith and Sports Collide
Our culture is at a crossroads. There is a tension that exists in so many Christian families across the country. I’ve been in ministry for about 15 years now, and I have yet to come across a friend in ministry who did not speak to this as a challenge and frustration. The dilemma is simple and yet complex: What should families do when sports schedules (or any other extracurricular activities) demand that they skip church and ministry events and activities?
The Sunday school answer might be to simply say “yes” to church and “no” to everything else, but that isn’t realistic for most families. There is also something to be said for honoring your commitments. Additionally, there is the possibility of the child’s excelling enough in those sports or activities that they could earn a college scholarship.
There is nothing inherently wrong with playing sports. These types of activities can make people well rounded. There is also a communal experience that can be truly special, and let’s not forget that ministering to teammates is one of the most effective ministry opportunities there is for teens and kids.
So where is the line? Is balancing faith and sports even a realistic option in this day and age? Here’s the way I have heard it from so many parents over the last few years: “Can I grow my child’s faith while also not missing out on everything else?” As a former basketball coach, current minister, and parent of two young kids playing competitive sports, I would like to make an attempt at addressing this balance. I’ll begin with a story from when I was a teenage athlete myself.
I was just finishing up my senior year of high school where I played on the school basketball team all four years. I wasn’t all that good, which meant I spent a decent amount of time on the bench. I cared a lot about the team, though, and how we fared throughout the season. When you spend a lot of time on the bench, you have a front-row seat to a lot of basketball, and you understand better the chess match that takes place every time down the floor. Because of this, I developed a desire to try my hand at coaching. As it turned out, I got my opportunity well before I thought I would, and definitely before I was truly ready.
My younger brother’s basketball team played in some local tournaments in middle Tennessee that spring. They asked me to be the coach knowing that things would be a little looser if a high-school kid was in charge. They were right. We had our share of both wins and losses, but we had a lot of fun, too.
At one of our final tournaments before the season ended and summer began, our team made it to the championship game. It was just before this game that I had what I thought at the time was one of the more embarrassing moments of my young life.
Because of the tournament schedule, we were playing games pretty much all day Sunday. This was a problem for my dad who drove us to these games but was also the church bookkeeper. It was imperative to my parents that we worshiped on Sunday. On tournament weekends where we were away from our home church, we usually would find a church close to the gym we were playing at and we, however, did not allow for such an option.
It was after our semifinal game that my dad got our attention, as well as the attention of all of the parents and players. He announced that we would be having an impromptu time of worship in a gazebo outside the gym. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just miss a Sunday. I didn’t think it would be the end of the world for us to just miss church for one week, but my dad felt otherwise.
I was super embarrassed as I listened to my dad under the gazebo belt the lyrics to “Amazing Grace” while my players, all 9th grade boys, all looked down in confusion and secondhand embarrassment. It was a pretty short time of worship and prayer, but I was angry and annoyed for feeling forced to worship in front of the guys I was leading. What I didn’t realize in that moment, though, was that this would become one of the most impactful moments of my young spiritual life. You see, my dad was fine with me being upset or frustrated with him, but he wasn’t going to let that change where his heart was. I couldn’t question his love for God. I never have since that moment in 2007.
Since that year, I have served as a full-time middle school and high school basketball coach for a very successful program in Houston, Texas. I was also a youth minister for five years and had several athletes in my ministry, and now I am a preaching minister with children who are playing sports. And as my own kids have grown, our family is beginning to feel the pull of a deeper commitment to those sports, particularly on Sundays.
I have come to realize that there’s no way I can share everything in one post, so it’s going to take several to get all of my thoughts out here. I also don’t claim to have all of the answers, just some unique perspectives. I have served as a coach telling kids to spend more time working on their sport, as a youth minister telling kids to spend more time with God, and now as a parent having kids of my own and wondering which of my previous roles I should listen to. By the way, I don’t think this is limited to sports, either. I have watched kids in marching band, competitive dance, and other extracurricular activities wrestle with the same issue. So:
Can I (or my child) give all this time and energy to this sport or activity and still have any semblance of faith?
Here are a few things that I do feel confident about with this matter:
Church attendance is NOT the ultimate indicator of faith in God. It certainly doesn’t hurt, though.
Conversely, attendance at practices and games does NOT ultimately dictate playing time or success in sports and activities. Again, this certainly doesn’t hurt, and coaches and trainers will tell you this isn’t true... but I’ll have more to say on this in my next post.
Faith CAN grow and develop outside of a corporate worship assembly.
That said, the faith development of young people NEEDS a faith community who does life together. The more they miss those gatherings, the less connected they will feel to the group. This also has less to do with the faith community being welcoming and more to do with the absent individual.
If you’re still reading, then you’re probably like me and are searching for a healthy balance here. We want our kids to have opportunities to grow in extracurricular activities and to enjoy them, while also developing and maintaining a healthy faith.
Over the next few posts, I will be sharing thoughts from the perspectives of a coach/trainer, a minister, and a parent. I hope you’ll join me. There’s a lot to unpack.
Two final words from Scripture:
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” – 2 Timothy 4:7-8
