Mentoring Without a Program
How many mentors have you had in your lifetime? Have you even had a mentor? I remember asking myself these questions early in my career, and at first I wasn’t sure how to answer them. My definition of mentoring involved a formal relationship. However, when I considered it further, my definition expanded and led me to realize that I had been blessed with a great number of mentors over my lifetime.
In his book Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master, Dr. Ron Lee Davis reflects on the role of mentors in his own life and training. When comparing his formal education with what he learned from important people in his life, he believes he was impacted more by people. Davis takes these experiences and defines mentoring as “a process of opening our lives to others, of sharing our lives with others.” [1] We should not underestimate the power of a mentor in comparison to a formal program. For churches without large ministries or programs, this is good news: our ability to influence and impact is not limited by size.
Formal mentoring programs are not the only way to have mentoring in a congregation. Informal efforts are effective, and they can be either intentional or incidental. For example, someone could look for someone else who is younger, new in the faith, or going through a stage of life he or she is familiar with, and then intentionally reach out to shepherd them. The two can meet at whatever interval works for them and do life with each other. Incidental mentoring is even more informal and takes place as a need arises. For this to work, however, we have to be aware of the needs of others, highlighting the importance of knowing the people we worship with. We can enter into a specific period to offer help and advice at just the right moment. Mentoring relationships can have a ripple effect in the lives of others.
Paul had experience with mentoring and knew the impact of it; in Titus 2, he does not suggest that we mentor others, but rather he tells us both to be good examples and to teach those who are younger than us. James M. Houston explains the importance of mentoring by using ecology. He explains that a tree planted in a clearing of an old forest has a better chance of growth than one that has been planted alone in a field. Young trees root more successfully when following pathways made by older trees. In the same way, humans also develop best when they are able to follow paths taken by experienced, wiser people. Mentees are able to develop beyond what they would have been able to alone. [2]
Mentoring can have a strengthening effect on the church in general. When people feel like they are part of a community and are cared for, they tend to stay. We often think that the churches with the big splashy programs and events are the ones that attract people, and that there is nothing we can do to match that. However, when we think this way, are we guilty of ascribing to a philosophy of attractional ministry? Bigger is not always better.
What people convert to they tend to follow, which is a big downside of the attractional approach to ministry. When someone chooses a church because of attractive offerings, he or she may be content with those and not seek to go deeper in their relationship with God or with the congregation. Several books have been written by pastors about their frustrations trying to get people to go deep or be committed when they choose a church for surface-level reasons. When we have personal relationships with people in our congregations, we can show them what a deepening faith looks like, and we can encourage them to grow.
This is truly living out what the Great Commission commanded in Matthew 28:18-20 when Jesus said we should teach others to observe all that He commanded. That takes time, but we can make a difference right where we are, no matter what size our church is or where it is located.
1. Ron Lee Davis, Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1991), 16.
2. James M. Houston, The Mentored Life: From Individualism to Personhood (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2002), 10.
