Sometimes It's Hard to Forgive

Forgiveness is a hard thing. I am so thankful for forgiveness—especially when I am the one being forgiven. I mean, I receive grace. I joyfully live in grace. 

And forgiveness is easy to preach. It’s so satisfying to really encourage/ exhort/ demand that people forgive each other as God forgives us. I can even forgive people I don’t know. I can forgive people that hurt you. I can even forgive myself sometimes.

But there are people… well, that I have a hard time forgiving. In fact, sometimes forgiving others is the hardest part of my Christian life. We spiritual leaders have all been there if we are honest. The church member that hurt us. Even worse, the one who hurt church members in lasting ways. Or hurt our spouse. Or our kids.  

I wonder how closely our people watch us to see if we practice what we preach.

I have to forgive.  I have no option if I want to be forgiven. And I do want that. God has forgiven me for so much.

But it is so hard. So, as I have thought about/ studied about/ prayed about/ tried to practice hard forgiveness, I thought I would just jot down a few things that have stuck with me. Maybe these will resonate with you also.

I have to really work at forgiving someone who does not repent. Sometimes it’s hard if they do, but when they do not even care about what they have done...

I struggle with people who do not even acknowledge their sin, much less repent.

I even have a hard time with churches that do not deal with unrepented sin.

There is a fine line between forgiveness and enabling someone. Yet Jesus said 7 times 70. Wow.  

I know they are not getting away with anything because I forgive them. If I forgive them but they continue in their sin, God will handle it. If I don't forgive them, it really doesn't matter to them.  

I have to be careful I do not confuse forgiveness, punishment, and consequences. God can sort it all out.

But...

Truth be told, there are things I have done that are hard to forgive. And some things I didn't do. 

But God forgave me through Jesus.

He commands me to forgive. Refusing to do that is another sin I have to be forgiven for, except my forgiveness is dependent on my forgiving others.

When I don't forgive, I can elevate myself above God by deciding something is "unforgivable."  

And I actually will be spending eternity with a bunch of forgiven sinners. You know, like me. And you.

Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. And there are consequences to sin that are not the same as forgiveness.  

Maybe forgiveness is about the choices I make when I do remember. The choice to forgive.

We live in community in this world and will live together forever in the world to come.

Because of forgiveness.

So I will do the hard work to live out my forgiveness.

And I will do the hard work to forgive.