The Spiritual Discipline of Asking Questions
Questions are a significant source of my relational momentum in ministry. I find great strength in showing up to social spaces, not because I’m extroverted, but because Jesus has shown me the value of asking questions that invite real and rich conversation. I used to believe that I was not gifted at building relationships, but really I just had not learned how to actively listen and ask questions.
My call into ministry initially confused me because I believed I was not relationally savvy, so I told God that if I said “yes,” He would have to show me how to know people well. If any prayer of mine has been effective, it was this one. God gave me the eyes to see and study the way Jesus stewarded questions in His ministry, and my findings propelled me forward in ways I never would have expected. After taking some tips from Jesus, my social battery has gained an endurance I never had, and my capacity to relate to others has become much more effective. While I can’t admit to becoming an extrovert, I can strongly agree to the reality that I’m an introvert living an extrovert’s life for the sake of Christ.
Recently, I was attending a birthday gathering for a friend and was introduced to her previous pastor. As I had learned from Jesus, I initiated a question-oriented conversation which opened the door for this pastor to share a truth I’ve been trying to uncover for a while. He was a pastor of a different Christian tradition than I am a part of and, in reconciling our differences, he shared, “Every single person who journeys into faith comes to faith asking different questions. I believe people gravitate towards the denomination that answers their questions most loudly and clearly.”
While we were both quick to admit this doesn’t sum up the differences of denominations entirely, I do think there is something incredibly valuable in seeing faith communities as people who are simply asking similar questions. I think of the time that Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” I imagine if every denomination answered this question, every answer would uniquely highlight the ways that God answers their deepest questions and concerns as humans. If people are inclined to gather with others who help them see how faith in Jesus speaks to these questions, how much more would people find fulfillment in relationships if we respected and invested in these kinds of conversations?
I recognize this may not be the story for every person or denomination, but I do think there is power in the questions we are asking. This past week, one of my students who recently dedicated his life to Jesus insisted on staying after our Questions of Faith Bible study so that he could ask me a “spiritual question.” When the others left the room, he looked me in the eyes and said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about what it has felt like to connect with people recently, and I want to know how to ask better questions. Could you teach me?” I smiled and celebrated the Spirit at work in this student’s heart because he intuitively sensed that asking questions plays a role in increasing one’s capacity to love a neighbor, which is a truth I am also learning in my own walk with Jesus.
I share the story about the pastor from my friend’s gathering and the student from my Bible study to suggest that asking questions is a spiritual action. Questions not only help us learn about who we are and who God is, but they also empower us to invite others into our life in authentic and enriching ways. One of the best ways to know if we are growing in faith is to reflect on what questions we are asking, if any at all.
Jesus was quick to keep questions on the forefront of the disciples’ minds. He allowed questions to create space for people to discover, collaborate, discern and commit themselves more to His Spirit and Truth so that they could know more about themselves and about God. Jesus asked questions in ways that personally moved the hearts of those around Him and led them into deeper, more dynamic faith. Questions show care and commitment, and they communicate an active pursuit of those you question with, be it God or neighbor.
I wanted to offer some ideas and resources regarding this concept since it has been a pivotal part of ministry for me and the community of faith I am in.
Each week, students and I gather for a Questions of Faith Bible study where we gather to grow in understanding of our faith by focusing on a question of faith. This Bible study has opened the door for God to keep revealing Himself while deepening His mystery and majesty all at the same time.
Our process is as follows:
Read the question to the group.
Ask the group the following questions: What do you know about this question? What have you heard? What questions, confusion or wonder do you have about this?
Seek the Scripture to understand what the Bible says about this question together.
After reading the scripture(s), ask: Does this affirm, challenge and/or deepen my understanding of this question? What is God’s heart in this question?
Ask: What more do I want to learn about this question in light of what we discussed?
Challenge the group to go out this week, continuing to ponder the question.
Seek answers from voices you trust throughout the week—from friends, mentors, colleagues, faith leaders, etc.
Pray and ask God what He would help you understand about this question.
Come back together to share your thoughts, findings and encouragement.
Asking deep, meaningful and specific questions helps us build relational intimacy and understanding, especially with God. Love is fully realized by being known. One reason why we find so much intimacy with God is because He is the only one who has the capacity to fully know and fully love us. When we choose to follow Him, we begin our journey of participating in this kind of love. I believe that the more we let God reveal Himself to us, the greater our capacity to love Him becomes. Asking questions helps us remain open to learning and letting the Spirit move in our hearts to help us know and love God more deeply.
Since we are created in the image of God, it makes sense to me that this works the same for our relationships with others. When we practice this kind of relational pursuit with one another, we are able to achieve greater intimacy because we are participating in love as it was created to function. A love that is curious, that seeks to understand, that cherishes one’s unique individuality, is a love that seeks to know fully, and because of fully knowing is able to fully choose to love a whole person.
I encourage you, in whatever way you serve your faith community, to consider what questions you are asking God, and also consider the kinds of questions you are asking others so that you may grow in the way you experience Christ and community.
Questions for Myself and God
What have I not done with God yet, but would like to experience—e.g., evangelism, prayer, missions, discipleship, trust God, grieve with God, etc.? Ask God how you can make space together to prioritize this.
Who is God helping me see right now? Ask God how you can show up for that person/those people in a way that reveals more of Him.
What about God’s kingdom is most life-giving or exciting to me right now? Ask God to invite you to learn something new about how He is calling you to pursue this more or differently.
What would Jesus say about my experiences right now? Ask God how He would speak life to you in this moment.
Questions for Others
What is it like to be you right now in this season?
What are three things you wish more people understood about you? 3. What questions of faith are you asking right now?
How do you need God and/or your community to show up for you right now?
In what ways are you seeing God bring life and redemption to you and/or your community? What does that look like? How are you encouraged to participate in this?
