The Doldrums
Lying on my back in the boat, I stare at the sky above. “How long have I been adrift?” I wonder. The air is stagnant. The sail lies limp against the mast as it has for days. No, for weeks. Maybe longer. Lifting my head up, I swivel it in an attempt to see how far I have drifted from shore. All around I am surrounded by nothing but water. How long will I have to wait for a wind that will fill my sail and propel me in a direction?
This is what it is like to be in the doldrums. In fact, this description is the actual definition of the word. In maritime terms, a sailboat caught in the “doldrums” experiences a complete absence of wind. This leaves the vessel helpless and unable to move forward from its own power. Spiritual doldrums are a very real condition that we can experience either briefly or for long periods of time. Does being stationary mean we are debilitated? A sailor may not be able to force the wind to blow, but they can prepare for when it will. Keeping the sails unfurled, the sailor is ready to catch even the slightest breeze. If we look at the biblical description of wind being compared to the Spirit of God, it can help us to wait with anticipation.
No amount of yelling at the sky or pulling at the sail will self-propel our boat. In John 3:8, when Jesus was speaking to Nicodemus, he said, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit” (NIV). The wind blows wherever it wants. It is unpredictable. We do not control it. We can unfurl the sails, so to speak, but the rest of our work is to wait in a state of expectation of what is to come. This type of waiting is active. Just as the boat relies fully on an external force to move, getting out of the spiritual doldrums requires acknowledging that we are not able to create our own inspiration or renewal.
Here are a few spiritual disciplines that can help us position ourselves to catch the wind when it does blow:
Spend time in silence and solitude. Patiently wait instead of trying to be in control. This can help us to quiet our mental noise.
Read Scripture intentionally. Try slowly reading a single, short passage several times. With each reading, focus on a single word or phrase.
Practice prayer. If spontaneous prayer is hard because internal motivation has dried up, try writing out a prayer to repeat at specific times of the day, or reading prayers from Scripture.
Continue engaging in worship. Even when we feel spiritually dry, choosing to express gratitude and praise in worship and song can lift us up.
Jesus pointed out that although we may not be able to see where the wind comes from, we can both “hear its sound” and see the effect of its blowing. It is a completely invisible force until it comes into contact with something. When we are in a state of stagnation, we have hope because God is working even when we can’t see or feel the work being done.
Back in my boat, in the heavy silence of stillness, a shift eventually begins. I feel the slightest lift of the air. The sail gives the briefest of twitches, so brief I almost miss it. A hair lifts on my forehead, and I feel coolness, soft as breath, on my neck. The wind begins to blow and the sail begins to fill.
