I Got out of Bed
One evening as I was preparing for bed after an amazing day filled with positive energy, productivity, and purpose, a heavy wave of self-doubt and insecurity plagued my mind. You are crazy to believe in this vision. Why couldn’t you be a regular preacher? There is a reason why you have limited support. Do you really think this will work? As I attempted to ignore these thoughts and fall asleep, memories of past failures surfaced and I found myself deeply troubled. So I turned on a guided meditation for sleep on YouTube, and before I knew it, I was sound asleep.
The next morning, I woke up unmotivated, drained, and feeling as if I had just come out of a mental battle. With another day filled with meetings and many items on my to-do list, I placed my feet on the floor and got out of bed. I went through my morning ritual, which consisted of prayer, meditation, yoga, Scripture reading, and reading a chapter of a book. Then it was time for me to dive into the day’s agenda. I started to coach myself to sit at my desk, to turn on my laptop, and to begin reading and responding to emails. I noticed that I was receiving phone calls, text messages, and other notifications on my phone, but I shied away from looking at my phone in fear of news I wasn’t ready to receive. I continued to browse emails, set up meetings, and tackle my agenda. During lunch, I ate a healthy raw vegan meal and finally decided to check the notifications on my phone. To my surprise, all of the notifications I read were positive and upbeat. All the while, my mind was still in a battle of self-doubt and profound insecurities. I wanted to go back to bed and sleep it off, but I had so much to accomplish that day. So despite my mental state, I proceeded to work.
Later that evening, I had a call with my friend Allison, who is also my communications liaison for Yoga 4 Philly and my creative specialist for The Gathering. Every two weeks, we check in on the heart level, discuss details regarding upcoming events, and talk in depth about ways we can make our social world better. As we worked through our biweekly agenda, we began to share life and discuss how we were doing. Earlier, I had made an agreement with myself not to tell anyone about what was going on with my mental state due to fear of losing credibility and influence. However, I felt moved to share with Allison how I was truly checking in, and I am thankful I did, as it cleared the mental fog and ushered me into clarity. In response, Allison did at least two things:
She listened. When someone discloses anything to you, may you practice patient listening. Sometimes all they need is a listening ear. Refrain from attempting to correct or offer advice. Wait and trust that the person will guide you into what they need at the moment.
She related. She connected with me through her own story. Her connection communicated to me that I wasn’t alone or strange. In addition to feeling heard, I felt I had a friend on this mental health journey. What in the person’s story can you connect with? Do not be shy with sharing your story. Those who are going through various struggles need your stories to assure them that they are not alone.
As a result of our interaction, I received an epiphany. As a high achiever, Allison reminded me of something I had overlooked. While the day was successful in terms of accomplishing my agenda, I realized that my greatest achievement on that day – and every day – was that I got out of bed. Despite the mental odds, self-doubt, and insecurities, I got out of bed and placed my feet on the floor. That, my friends, is the greatest act of courage.
I don’t know who is reading this, but if you are experiencing any form of discouragement as it pertains to your work, I want to encourage you to place your two feet on the floor, say “thank you,” and get out of bed.
