When It Gets Tough

Derrick Rose was the youngest MVP in NBA history. Derrick was adored by fans when he became a superstar with the Chicago Bulls; however, injuries plagued his entire career. Due to ongoing injuries, Derrick, who was favored to be the next face of the NBA, became a kind of  “superstar of lost potential” after being known as one of the most athletic point guards to ever play in the NBA. Yes, there was one magical moment that gave NBA fans hope that Derrick Rose was still relevant. That day was Halloween 2018, in which he scored 50 points as a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves in a game against the Utah Jazz. After scoring 50, the fans, teammates, and competitors all across the NBA celebrated with Derrick because everyone knew his story, felt his story, and was moved by his triumphant resurgence. During his post-game interview, attempting to hold back tears, Derrick said, “I worked my @*%# off, bro.”

I suspect that anyone who, while on their journey towards their destiny, has not given up amidst challenges, setbacks, or hardships, can relate to Derrick Rose’s words about hard work. Leaders with a clear vision can relate to Derrick’s triumphant moment. Leaders who have embarked on uncharted territory can resonate with Derrick’s words. As I ponder on Derrick’s statement, I am reminded of the many moments, waking up in the morning, staring at the ceiling, wondering if I was cut out for my work. I’ve had moments, as a result of experiencing massive failures, where I wanted to quit. Yet, my vision wouldn’t allow me to succumb to these thoughts and feelings. Over the years, I have realized that there are certain things that I need to remember and reflect on during this journey of vision, leadership, and missional engagement. 

Know Who You Are

One of the key things to remember while facing setbacks and challenges as a leader is to remember who you are. Oftentimes, when attending various networking events, one hears the very common question: “What do you do?” Very rarely is this question asked: “Who are you?” As awkward as it may seem, my first question, when I am engaging in a conversation for the first time, is “who are you?” I am interested in knowing who the person is more than allowing what they do to define who they are. Some reading this may think that this is a conversation killer, and I guess that is the risk I am taking; however, I have witnessed that this has inspired folks to reflect on this question. 

So, I ask you the same thing: “Who are you?” Knowledge of who you are will help anchor you when negative self-talk and various voices distracting you from your purpose invade your mind. In my home, I have various words of affirmation scattered throughout, so whenever I hear or have accepted negative thoughts, I am quickly reminded of who I am. In those moments when I am staring at the ceiling, contemplating quitting, there is a statement posted on my ceiling: “I am a hero.”

Lament

As leaders and s/heros, we deserve spaces for us to lament. The life of leadership is extremely challenging. Leaders absorb an enormous amount of pain, betrayal, and disappointment. I have not met any leader that has had a journey without facing obstacles, setbacks, and challenges. As for me, there aren’t words to describe the pain I experience often, so having a friend who would hold space for me, by sitting in silence with me and being a listening ear, is a tremendous gift to me. I need spaces for me to release my raw thoughts and emotions, and so do you. I have discovered that having spaces where I can lament provides the additional boost of energy needed for me to continue the journey.

Pay The Price

It is important to remember that, as leaders, we pay the price to be who we are and to do what we do. The average person does not know the cost leaders pay to pursue their vision and/or a mission. Perhaps they may not need to know, or they may not have the capacity to understand the cost. Yet, we are a part of a fraternity of individuals who have paid and continue to pay the price to lead. We join the likes of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman, Angela Davis, and Mother Teresa, just to name a few. Yet the greatest leader of them all is Jesus. Jesus paid the highest price to turn this world upside down, and for thousands of years, leaders, both Christians and non-Christians, continue to examine the life, mission, and work of Jesus in order to gain insight and wisdom. 

So, to all the leaders reading this, I see you. I know it is tough. I appreciate you. Remember to know who you are, find spaces to lament, and continue to pay the price to be who you are and to do what you do. We are in this together—and when the going gets tough, the tough get going.