Do We Really?

Whatever your church personality is, you likely have a phrase that creatively captures it. A motto is a phrase that is repeated often in order to capture the unique qualities of your church family. 

• Loving our neighbor as ourselves

• Serving God and serving others

• Making a difference in our community

• Reaching out to those in need

• Compassion in action

• Living out our faith through service

• We are the hands and feet of Jesus

• Serving Jesus by serving others

While all bodies of Christians share some basic foundational principles, each church family has a unique way of being Christ-like. Being Christ-like is fundamental to the way believers approach everything and everyone. Traditional Christian expectations include evolving, maturing, and transforming into more Christ-like people. 

We truly, sincerely, want to be more like Christ. 

But do we really? 

I ask this only because it seems our impatience and avoidance of others is truly impressive. We have perfected the art of being angry, passive-aggressive, inflammatory, and (possibly my least favorite) obnoxious gloaters when things go our way.

I’m not even talking about politics—just everyday behavior with each other: our family, our neighbors, our church family, our ministers, our elders, your child’s teachers, coaches…. 

As one with a “tick-tock” in my head, I struggle with people who take a painfully long time to do things, like getting off an airplane. I know this is incredibly impatient on my part, but seriously, go faster. Embarrassing but true. I’m working on it.

For the life of me, I can’t see how it’s possible to become more like Jesus with such impatience and avoidance. Our conversations with and about others are scarily accurate barometers of our impatience. 

I do, however, see that it’s much easier to have Christ-like patience without the actual people around. The idea of ministry is quite noble until the people get involved. It’s easier to study Jesus, read books, work on church projects, talk about being Christ-like, go to church, and quite literally anything else than to be in connection and conflict with each other. It’s easier to fire a minister than to get in there and work out the issues or provide an effective mentor. It’s easier to quit a job than to work out interpersonal issues that are causing someone to hit the snooze button a few extra times. 

Hence, my question. Do we really want to be like Christ? These Christ-like qualities that we desperately want to obtain are the results of life experiences in connection and conflict with other humans, and not just things we learn, or obtain, in isolation.

Think of it this way. When a family is expecting a baby, we often have very noble thoughts and aspirations about what kind of parents we are going to be. We are going to teach this child to love Jesus, to be kind, patient, polite, respectful, hard-working, generous, and the list goes on….

Then, the baby is born, and as parents, we aren’t just teaching good-person lessons; we are up to our eyeballs in learning these same lessons ourselves, modeling these behaviors while gritting our teeth, and being painfully refined every day, while managing large amounts of parental responsibilities and stress. Patience is hard-earned when you learn it at 3 a.m. with a crying baby.

If you think of a parent you respect right now, someone that you view as Christ-like, I urge you to find out more about their life experience. Are they patient? I promise you that some yahoo-kid tested them every minute of every day, and they have the bruising stories to prove it. Are they merciful and kind? Chances are they have made more than their fair share of mistakes and are grateful not to be defined by their worst decisions. Are they hard-working? Parenting requires you to do four times as much in the same 24 hours. Efficiency isn’t a luxury; it’s survival. And the list goes on. You can’t be a respected parent without a solid minimum of 20 years of parenting experience. 

Being Christ-like is the same. Only after a solid tenure of being in connection and conflict with others will we begin to reflect Christ. People are required. Humility is required. We cannot look down our noses with disdain at others. We know that this is a key indicator of marriages that will end in divorce, and it's just as destructive in other interpersonal relationships.. My impatience with others getting off airplanes needs to be checked. I don’t know if I’m faster or not; I’ve never timed myself. And yet, I complain. I really am working on that.

I suggest we start with our conversations. If you don’t like talking to people, you are not alone, but stay with me. I’m not trying to turn you into an extrovert, I promise. We have enough of those. Just think about the Christ-like qualities you’d like to reflect. Sincerely and authentically practice those qualities in your conversations, and it will be a great start and a solid spiritual discipline. As stated earlier, our conversations are accurate barometers of how we think and feel toward others. By focusing on these Christ-like qualities in our conversations, we are training our thoughts and our words, which is no small feat according to James 3:9-12:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

As humans, we simply are not able to rise to the occasion; we inevitably fall back on our training and our habits. To grow into a more Christ-like person, other humans are required. I’m with you and will be working on my own thoughts and conversations, especially on airplanes. Start with your conversations and watch how the Lord opens you up to true transformation.