Leadership that is Authentic
Everyone loves the idea of authenticity. It’s one of those leadership buzzwords that shows up in conference talks, books, and performance reviews. “We want authentic leaders!” But there seems to be a disconnect between what some leaders think authenticity means, and what it actually is.
For example, some leaders assume that authenticity is simply being yourself. “This is who I am. This is the way I have always been.” Or perhaps it is an invitation to say whatever is on your mind. “I’m just being honest.”
I have worked with leaders who believe that it is important to do whatever it takes to seem relatable. One children’s minister told me during the pandemic that she shares her anxiety with the families she serves because it makes her relatable. I have seen other leaders who readily admit their flaws so that people will know “he is just like us.”
At first glance, it makes sense. It can be freeing to just show up, say what you are thinking, and lead with your feelings, especially if you believe that in doing so, people are going to like you for being real.
But sometimes, what gets labeled as authenticity is really just unfiltered emotion, oversharing, or even an excuse to avoid personal growth and development.
So if that’s not authentic leadership, then what is?
Saying or doing the hard thing, even when you have fear wrapped around it, and not getting sucked into fear-based leadership decisions.
The ability to admit when you are wrong. Fully owning it and not making excuses or laying blame.
Being okay with being misunderstood if it means operating with integrity.
Identifying your values, what really matters to you, and then living within those boundaries, regardless of the cost.
Being respected for doing what you feel is the right thing to do, rather than being liked for people-pleasing.
Earning credibility by being consistent, honest, fair, and dependable.
Calmly saying “I don’t know” when you don’t.
Finding a private outlet for your anxiety so that you can presentas a non-anxious presence.
This list feels much harder—it’s actively not taking the easy way out. Authentic leadership is not about comfort; it is often risky and requires courage. It can even be lonely because your authenticity will make some people pull away. It feels safer to do what will maintain the approval of the crowd rather than to walk the harder road of trust and integrity.
Leading with authenticity is about the long game of leadership. Because the employees who stay after you have led with truth are the ones who believe in you, not just your title; they trust your character. Your consistency, showing up with integrity, is what builds credibility over time that cannot be shaken.
In everyday leadership, this might look like:
Instead of pretending you know the answer, calmly saying: “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”
When you mess up, not spinning it or blaming others, but simply admitting it: “That was my mistake. Here’s what I’ll do differently next time.”
Choosing to protect the credibility and trust you have earned instead of taking a shortcut that no one would know about.
When things are stressful and everyone else is reacting, grounding yourself and responding instead of reacting with words that acknowledge their feelings but calmly reassures them. Words like, “I know this feels stressful, but here’s what we know, and here’s how we’ll move forward.”
Having the courage to lead with values instead of going along with the crowd.
Authenticity is not only seen in big, dramatic moments. More often, authenticity is found in the small, daily decisions that have earned your credibility. It is not about being liked; it is about being trusted because of your consistency and clear values.
The hard road of authenticity comes with a cost. Not everyone will approve of or even like you. But being an authentic leader will earn you credibility. Others will trust your leadership because you are consistent and lead with values.
Perhaps it will be helpful, the next time you are tempted to perform, put a spin on something, people please, or self-protect, to ask yourself: What would it look like to be authentic in this situation? How can I lead with integrity, no matter the cost?
Choosing authenticity time and again will set you apart as an authentic leader who is less concerned about being liked in the moment and more committed to being trusted for a lifetime.
