Reframing Agape Love
One of the most famous chapters in all of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. Nicknamed the “love chapter,” Paul beautifully defines agape love in picturesque detail. This chapter of scripture is studied like poetry in schools. It is regularly read during wedding ceremonies. It is one of the most memorized and recited passages in all of the Bible as well.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 [NIV])
Even the secular world can get on board with this passage. The popular early 2000s sitcom How I Met Your Mother even referenced and recited verses 4-7 during one of its early episodes. This passage is easy to love (if you’ll pardon the wordplay). Sometimes though, we can tarnish a beautiful thing without meaning to.
In 2008, a pastor and author by the name of Francis Chan wrote a book called Crazy Love. This book challenged American Christianity to its core by calling out lukewarm, half-hearted Christians and encouraging readers to become more radical in their faith. While there was some movement that took place in response to this work, there was also some unintentional harm done. Many people finished this book feeling incredibly ashamed of themselves, which I don’t believe was the outcome Chan desired.
Case in point: Chan encouraged readers to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and substitute their own name for love in this passage and then see how true the passage remained. While I am all for self-assessment, this test was designed for people to fail (I would love to meet the person who does not keep record of their wrongs but also is not proud. I’m pretty sure Jesus has a monopoly on that market). Even Chan himself wrote after this practice, “By the end, don’t you feel like a liar? If I am meant to represent what love is, then I often fail to love people well” (p. 94).
Again, it is good to know where you might align on your values and character. If you do this exercise, then I hope that at least one or two of those statements with your name in them are true, but no one other than Jesus will get a perfect score.
Perhaps you’re like me or most of my friends. You do things like this and feel like a total failure. It’s why I caution many people before taking these kinds of tests. The best encouragement I can give is to have the grace for yourself that God has always had for you. Many of us have always looked at passages like this and viewed them as messages about how we should be more loving or how we can love better. While I won’t disagree with this, I would also like to invite you to consider an alternative possibility with this passage.
We know from scripture that God is love by definition, and that those of us who know love also know God (1 John 4). What if we were to apply this concept to 1 Corinthians 13? What if Paul is wanting us to understand not how to love better, but instead what God’s love for us is like? What if this love from God is what Paul actually meant when he said at the end of the previous chapter, “And yet I will show you the most excellent way?”
I sometimes wonder if accepting this love from God is actually more difficult than acting it out toward others. Deep down, it’s hard to feel worthy of this love because we have done too much damage in our own lives and in the lives of others to think that this kind of love belongs to us. The good news is that our God is just that good. He IS that loving, and this love is ours to have. If you think that your rap sheet is too great, I would remind you whom Paul is originally writing this letter to: the church in Corinth.
Corinth’s rap sheet would be impressive if it weren't sad. Here’s what we find:
Division over leadership (1:10-12)
Jealousy and fighting (3:3-4)
Arrogance (4:18)
Incest and sexual immorality (and also pride in it) (5:1-13; 6:12-18)
Members of the church publicly suing other members (6:7-11)
Excluding members from communion due to socioeconomic class (11:17-34)
And these are the things that Paul publicly addresses in the letter. What else might there have been?
I point these things out that you may remember that you are not alone in your sin. God is present and walks with you beyond that life and into His abundant one. He is the father on the porch waiting for his child to come home, and when he sees him, he doesn’t wait for the child to get to the porch. Instead, he goes running to his child while you are still far off in the distance.
As you contemplate love, may you have a renewed experience of the love chapter and may you see God’s love for you in a way that you never have before.
God is patient with you, God is kind to you. He does not envy you. He does not boast to you, He is not proud of Himself. God does not dishonor you, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered with you, He keeps no record of your wrongs. God does not delight in your evil deeds, but rejoices when you live in truth. God always protects you, always trusts you, always hopes in you, and always perseveres after you.
God’s love for you never fails.
