Acedia and Not Me (Please!)
Welcome to part two of a three-part series on Habakkuk, written by Beth Ann Fisher. Find part one here.
Reflection Roundup reports from conversations couched in relationships. Here, readers will find boots-on-the-ground and “live from the field” items important to Christian leaders. As always, listening broadly draws together differing perspectives from which we can learn but with which we may not concur. This month’s post draws from multiple streams of ministry, at the levels of both local and missional congregations, each in a direction toward which the prophetic message flows contemporarily.
Habakkuk brought to God the personal and communal disorientation we all experience at times. This comes in various but common forms; acedia is a name for one of them. Acedia in a religious context is a word that is not far from askesis, a term which originates with the Greeks for athletes in training. More generally the term refers to the chemical production of vinegar, which can also make for an interesting metaphor.
As students exit university life and move into “the real world,” they often ask for advice. One of the topics about which they wisely ask is how to prevent some of the more difficult moments from happening to them, especially in ministry. One such moment is what is known as “burn out.” Those who have been there know it well, and they also know how difficult it is to prevent. It is a symptom of something really good – so good, in fact, that a person needs a break. Sometimes when a heart is so turned toward the ministry in which they are involved, so immersed in what is truly a delight and a joy, tiredness can accumulate. The pace makes this difficult to perceive. Only stopping can give a body, mind, and heart the rest needed to notice tiredness among other things.
The prophets are long faithful. Those who cry out to God in scripture, both personally and on behalf of the communities of which they are a part, are deeply experienced with God. They wave their hands in the air, begging God to see, to intervene, to call some sort of truce with prevailing circumstances.
Scholars usually comment on the application of Habakkuk’s words. Modern readers don’t have the luxury of knowing Habakkuk as a person. The clues we have about the longevity of his relationship with God lie in his poetic expression of faithfulness in chapter 3. The language demonstrates Habakkuk’s awareness of the ways Yahweh is different from the ancient Mesopotamian gods in relation to people. He portrays a deep regard for the law and is distraught at the way in which modern culture dishonors it. Habakkuk knows God’s ways with people intimately, I surmise.
Readers can see similarities in the way Job relates to God. He is a man who in his day was committed not only to a rhythm of personal communication with God but one that also involved petitions on behalf of his family and community. Every time they celebrated together Job also petitioned Yahweh on their behalf.
Dare I wonder if this ever got old?
The prophecies do not press this question upon the reader or the hearer, but my experience does. And I don’t think I am alone.
American poet and essayist Kathleen Norris writes a book, Acedia & Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life (Riverhead, 2008), in which she explains this phenomenon which may be unavoidable for a mature Christian.
The desert monks termed acedia “the noonday demon” because the temptation usually struck during the heat of the day, when the monk was hungry and fatigued, and susceptible to the suggestion that his commitment to a life of prayer was not worth the effort. Acedia has long been considered a peculiarly monastic affliction, and for good reason. It is risky business to train oneself to embrace a daily routine that mirrors eternity in its changelessness, deliberately removing distractions from one’s life in order to enter into a deeper relationship with God. Under these circumstances acedia’s assault is not merely an occupational hazard – it is a given (5).
Mary Margaret Funk, OSB, takes a little different turn toward thoughts of spiritual fatigue as she writes Tools Matter: Beginning the Spiritual Journey (Liturgical Press, 2013), a little book in which she offers tools for addressing these types of thoughts. Funk says thought tools help a person stay “awake” (xxi). “We try to pray, but our thoughts are like distant rocks and trees. Sometimes we feel as if we are going mad, that we are out of our minds. We are not our thoughts. When stilled, our minds are warm and wonderfully in the Presence” (xxi).
Elijah, another prophet with a long history with God, says, “Lord God All-Powerful, I have always served you as well as I could” (1 Kings 19:10). Another with a long faithful history. He continues explaining to Yahweh how he is the “only one left.” Whether this was true or if he was spiraling, God answered. God gave him a step to take, but first God came to him in stillness.
What to do when spiritual fatigue creeps in? I have tried a few things lately and found surprising success with what theophanically falls in line with Habakkuk. God has shown me rest is not my enemy. My perception of it and label for it, lack of productivity, is. Changing routines that have proven successful can be scary, but it is necessary. When I begin to worship them I am without worshipping my own strength as did those referenced in Habakkuk 1:11. My routines can be like the nets that catch the livelihood that is fish for the Babylonians (1:15).
Laying down that fear and opening up in ways the Spirit and even other people suggest, I can approach the day, relate to other people, and seek God in multiple ways. The change in routine breathes life.
God assures Jeremiah, “When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore” (Jer 29:13).
Turns out God is everywhere and in all things.
If you have been feeling this way or having these thoughts, there is a name for it, and we find ourselves in very good company. It’s not about avoiding, it’s about acknowledging what is needed when the unavoidable comes. Acedia is an indicator that there is a good relationship, a long one in which good, faithful work has taken place. Let’s continue exploring on the rampart next week.
