A Family Crossroads: When Faith and Sports Collide (Part 2)

“You HAVE to put in the work”

“There will come a time when the season will ask what you did in the offseason.”

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

“You have to make a commitment to yourself and this team.”

“If you miss a day, you risk losing your spot.”

“If you show more and work even harder, you can earn yourself a scholarship.”

These are just a few different quotes and sayings that I have heard over the years from coaches and trainers talking to athletes. There’s certainly some truth in them. I’m of the belief that youth sports are more competitive now than they have ever been in American history for a variety of factors. I see videos daily of ten- and eleven-year-olds doing conditioning workouts that I didn’t know existed until after I finished college. While the physical demand is extensive (and at times concerning), the demand on their schedules is beyond what most adults remember.

A couple of months ago, I started a post that I want to continue. You can read the last one here.

Having coached for a short period of time, I want to shed light on a few matters when it comes to our kids’ extracurricular schedules and their spiritual formation. We are in a time where there is so much demand for our children’s presence and participation in so many areas of life. Where is the balance? What are the best practices? 

To start, I want to share a few myths that I have heard over the years. Then, in my next post, I’ll share a few truths that I have come to believe as a coach and that are rooted in Scripture. Let’s get to it!

Two Big Myths

1) Your child can’t afford to ever miss a practice or game because they might lose playing time.

This is not an invitation to miss whenever you feel like it or miss every time church and sports collide. This is an invitation to have an honest conversation with your child’s coach. Ask the coach to communicate expectations clearly, and then share with the coach that your child’s faith is also very important to you. Oftentimes coaches are respectful of the faith practices of players (within reason), and they will allow misses from time to time, especially if the player is good about doing make-up work.

While some coaches might vary on their expectations, one thing is pretty consistent with most coaches, especially as the kids get older and the sports more competitive: coaches ultimately get paid to win. If your child is an essential part of the winning formula, then he or she is more likely to play. I’m not saying that this is how it should be, but this is how it is on the vast majority of programs, especially the more successful ones. If your child happens to be the best player, know that the example he or she sets in this regard will oftentimes dictate how the rest of the team views practices and games. This is actually where leadership, especially on the spiritual levels, can really be put on display. 

2) If your child puts in enough extra work, then he or she can earn a scholarship or even go pro.

Entire books can, should, and are written on this topic. While this is sometimes true, it often isn’t what many think it will become. I’ll make several points on this:

• Statistically speaking, your child has about a .01% chance of going pro. That number plummets even more when discussion of playing pro for more than three years is considered. Having coached professional players, I’ll share my experience in how to know when children might be capable of going pro: they are so much better than everyone else that their opponents, coaches, and even their own teammates and parents complain that it isn’t fair how much better they are than everyone else. This complaint should be heard at the high-school level as loud as at the pee-wee and little-league levels. Even then, it’s still a maybe. All this is to say: it’s probably safe to let that dream go.

• If you are hearing a coach or trainer tell you this about your child, consider the following: will that coach or trainer profit financially from my child putting in the extra work (via use of facilities, private lessons, etc.)? If so, then this could be a lie. If you hear a coach or trainer say this and your child is 12 or younger, then it most likely is a lie. Pro tip: if you know of a high school head coach who is not your child’s coach or even a college head coach, sometimes you can reach out and ask for an honest assessment. Most coaches are straight shooters. Depending on what they say, you can help manage yours and your child’s expectations moving forward.

• I strongly recommend you research what the scholarship landscape is like given the sport or activity your child plays. While all kids are created equal, the sports they play are not when it comes to college scholarships.

• The amount of hours, lessons, and cost spent on games, uniforms, and equipment  usually outweighs the partial JUCO scholarship your child might have earned. I’m not saying you should not do it, but I am encouraging you to count the cost and ask if it’s all worth it. 

• Speaking of counting the cost, if your child is in high school and considering playing a sport collegiately, then I encourage you to help your child understand that, outside of classes and that sport, he or she will have little to no social life during their college years. Many athletes quit the sport after their freshman year because of this. 

There’s no question that sports can be a wonderful avenue for personal and spiritual growth. It can also be a place where church and mission can come to life in ways that it simply can’t in traditional church buildings. It can also be a special place to form a unique bond with your child. Every kid’s path in these extracurricular activities is different and that’s ok. Ultimately, we want what’s best for our children’s souls. While sports can give so much, even spiritually, my prayer is that the sport does not become the identity of your child.

Come back next time to consider some truths that can counteract these myths.

What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? (Matthew 16:26)