A Family Crossroads: When Faith and Sports Collide (Part 3)

In my prior post, I continued a series that I started here. My hope has always been that we can talk deeply and truthfully about kids’ sports, family life, and children’s spiritual formation. 

Last time, we talked about some myths that I have heard over the years. Now, though, I want to turn to some truths that I have come to believe as a coach and that are rooted in Scripture. Let’s get to it!

Five Big Truths

1) If you want to get better, then you have to work hard.  

Some individuals are naturally gifted in sports and activities. They can walk out there and just be better than others. That said, it will be tough to improve if no practice happens. This statement is also true of spiritual formation in terms of time spent with God, in scripture, and in community. For someone to grow spiritually, time must be invested there as well. Finding this balance is hard.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)

2) Your child’s faith can still grow even if he/she misses a church event or activity for a sport or extracurricular activity. 

I applaud the youth workers and ministries who have adapted to make this such a beautiful reality. Programs like Fellowship of Christian Athletes have been terrific additions to this as well. In some circumstances, your faith can sometimes grow because you were in the place that God wanted you to be at that time. Notice that many of the times God spoke to individuals in the Bible, they were not in church. Church is not the only place where God is present and active. More on this point to come in a future post.

To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. (1 Corinthians 9:22-23)

3) Coaches can be a tremendous spiritual influence on your kids.

Obviously, this is going to depend on the coach. If you land a good coach who cares about his players becoming better people and not just better performers, then you’ve struck gold. I know plenty of kids who grew up to become terrific adults who can point back to a coach who had a profound impact on them. Many of them will come back and coach or volunteer with or for that coach to pass along what the coach gave to him/her. These coaches care about what is going on in their players’ lives. They never intentionally belittle or embarrass their players regardless of whether the player is the best or the worst on the team. 

With this being said, however, the antithesis can also be true. I think that the accountability for poor coaches has really improved over the last 20 years, but they still exist. Pay attention to the men and women who coach or work with your kids because there is a chance that your child will take what he/she learns from a coach and put it into practice regardless of whether it’s right or wrong. 

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

4) Being a committed member of a team can help a person become a part of a real community.

I believe that every human being desires to be a part of something bigger than themselves. This can increase one’s sense of belonging and identity very powerfully when done in a healthy way. It’s special to watch teammates become friends and encourage one another beyond the arena of sport or play. We all want our kids to have good, reliable, kind, and respectful friends who cheer for and believe in them. Sports can oftentimes be a wonderful place to find that. 

Many sports programs have also begun encouraging community within the parents of their respective athletes as well. This makes sense considering the common ground they all have being parents of similar children, the appreciation they all have for one another’s kids, and the encouragement they all provide. I know of several adults who have found a deeper sense of belonging in a community of sports parents than they have at church. Before we judge, I also want to point out that oftentimes these parents are people of faith as well; they make it a point to pray together, eat meals together, and share faith together.

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer…. All the believers were together and had everything in common. (Acts 2:42, 44)

5) Church will always be there for your child, but he or she has a limited amount of time for this sport.

If you are a part of a healthy church, then the people there will always be there for you and your family. This is a beautiful thing that I encourage you not to take for granted. Additionally, though, I encourage you to have conversations with your child about the pressure he or she feels to perform in the particular sport or activity. The more pressure that is felt, the greater the need for church attendance and participation. I say that for this reason: the church values your child’s presence far more than his or her performance. Hopefully, your church is thrilled that you are simply there. Every kid needs this type of love. Church is the only place that doesn’t demand performance while also celebrating mere presence. 

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

What’s the main takeaway from all of this? As I noted in the last post: Count the cost. 

Like I said previously, sports can be a wonderful avenue for personal and spiritual growth. It can also be a place where church and mission can come to life in ways that it simply can’t in traditional church buildings. It can also be a special place to form a unique bond with your child. My prayer is that we are raising disciples who happen to be athletes, not athletes who happen to be disciples. May we find the balance. May our kids seek and find Jesus wherever they are, on a playing field or in the local church.

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ (Luke 14:28-30)